It's okay
by die morderin
Summary: Jounouchi x seto male x male relationship. What happens when Jou forgets his lover?
1. to be here

**It's okay…**

**Warnings: yaoi, (male x male relationships) suggestedabuse andrape.**

**Pairings: Jou x Seto**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh ... unfortunately**

**Chapter 1: ... to be here**

* * *

"S-Seto!" Seto nibbled lightly on my neck and I felt him smirk at my moans, he really was such a tease.

"Want something, Katsuya?" I loved it when he called my that, only Seto is allowed to call me by that name.

I mumble something inaudible and he looks at me with a small smile.

"What's that puppy?" I turn crimson and repeat my words louder.

"Please, Seto, make love to me." He smiles and places a passionate kiss on my lips. I wrap my arms around him. "Don't disappear, Seto, I need you."

* * *

He hit me in the head with the chair again, I started to get dizzy and fell to the floor, he followed me down and pulled open my shirt. The strong scent of alcohol followed him everywhere and it fogged my senses, so dizzy.

"Please dad, don't!" the last part came out in a wail but he made no move to stop in his drunken rage.

"I'll scream! Someone will hear!" he moved down to my jeans and worked the buckle of me belt. He didn't hear me.

"Please, dad! I'm your son!" He thrust into me.

No one will ever hear me.

* * *

What if you could create a pain in order to replace an unbearable one? Don't you feel like you could forget the pain, if only for a moment? Of course there's no way you could erase pain just like that.

I walked into the classroom, like I always do, sat in the chair that I always sit in. Received greetings from the people that I always receive greetings from, and a smirk from the person I always get a smirk from. Monotony. Pain, monotony, pain… I fold my arms on my desk and lay my head on them letting out a slight sigh. I can feel eyes on me, who's? I don't know, but they want something. Lethargically I lift my head to glance around the room. Nothing. No eyes, nothing. I feel my eyes water.

"Mr. Jounouchi?" I raise my head to the voice; it's that of my math teacher, probably asking me for an answer to a question I don't know the answer to. "The answer, Mr. Jounouchi?" I feel my eyes start to fall closed, no even caring I lay my head back on the desk, who really cares weather I answer or not? I think I hear her huff and ask someone else the question, said person answers in a second, if I had the energy I'd turn my nose up at them, but I don't. I sigh. Sleep sounds good…

"Mutt! Oi!" Mutt? That sounds familiar… somehow I know that name. I shift a little but never open my eyes, to comfortable, too sleepy. "Get up." I lost all will to move my body felt so heavy like it wasn't even my own anymore, well, technically it wasn't, it was my fathers to do with as he wished. My left arm falls off the desk, that's the wrist with all the scars on it isn't it? I say wistfully in my head. I hear a gasp, probably from said person caused by the sight of the said wrist.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me, I gasp internally, not having the strength to do so outwardly. I stay in the same position as the person held me, they were whispering incoherent things in to my ear, was this the voice of a man? Wasn't that a bit strange? To be whispered to by a man? I dismissed it as my brain playing tricks on me.

"Katsuya… please, please open your eyes." Was the person sobbing, I heard them choke back a sob. Why was this person crying for me?

"I love you Katsuya, so please wake up already." Katsuya… katsuya… was that… my name?

"It's okay for you to be here, Katsuya."

* * *

**So there it was! poor Jou, please comment if you wish, Thankyou very much!**


	2. to forget

**Warnings: yaoi**

**Pairings: Jou x Seto**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh **

**A/n: sorry it took so long to update, enjoy the story! **

Chapter 2: to forget.

* * *

May 29, weather raining.

I woke up with a headache today, a boy was sleeping next to the bed, and he looked familiar although I couldn't really tell. When he opened his eyes and saw me he had the most relieved expression on his face, it made me feel a little guilty for… something. Who was this person?

'Katsuya' he whispered to me, a hint of uncertainty lining a voice I'm sure was usually full of confidence. 'Katsuya?' he whispered again, a question this time. I stared un blinkingly, why was he saying Katsuya to me? Was that… my name? Wait, what _is_ my name?

'Where am I?' I had asked of him and his face fell, his sapphire eyes widened a little. I glanced around the room, everything here I had seen before but I don't remember any of it. Why it is or how it is was totally lost on me.

'You're at my mansion. I am Seto Kaiba. Don't you remember that Katsuya?'

I sat in silence trying to process that thought and once again that word 'Katsuya'

'Katsuya… who?' I asked and his eyes widened, I think in that moment he had thought of something

'Stay here' the self proclaimed 'Seto Kaiba' had ordered as he sprinted from the room leaving me alone with my thoughts. Right across from me stood a tall mirror and I gazed in to it.

A blonde boy gazed back at me, his hair lying askew atop his head and his eyes shining with a light that says he had lost something very important. I reached out to him and at the same time he reached out to me.

That was me in the mirror… but I don't know who 'me' is.

* * *

Seto returned shortly after my encounter with the mirror this time he had a doctor with him. The boy was asked to leave the room, which left me alone with the doctor.

'What's your name?' he asked of me and I numbly shook my head 'you don't want to tell me?' I shook my head again.

'I don't know.' The doctor looked up with a surprised expression. The next hour passed with him doing various tests. When he was done he had said goodbye and then stepped out of the room, I assume to talk to the boy who I woke up with.

I heard an exclamation from outside of the room and the brunette walked back into the room with a furious expression on his face. His expression softened when he looked upon me.

'katsuya… Do you remember me?'

'I remember you, Seto Kaiba.' He smiled a little

'Listen to me katsuya, it's okay if you don't understand it all, just listen.'

Seto said that the doctor had diagnosed me a condition due to repetitive blows to the head, the brunette had called it 'amnesia'

* * *

Down the hall in his study Seto Kaiba sat with his laptop open but no work had been or was going to be done.

"It's okay if you don't remember Katsuya, it's okay."

* * *

**there we have it! i hope it wasn't too disappointing!**


	3. to be 'not okay'

**It's okay**

**Chapter three: …to be 'not okay'**

**Warnings: yaoi **

**Pairings: Jou x Seto **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh **

**A/n: sorry it took so long to update, enjoy the story! **

**

* * *

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Seto shut his laptop with a resounding click and removed his glasses. He was getting no work done today due to this thoughts wondering on to a certain blonde that was lying in his bed with a whole chunk of his memory missing.

'He forgot me' seto thought to himself. 'He forgot himself.' Seto placed his arm over his eyes and slumped down in his chair. He felt hot behind his eyes, what was this?

"Seto Kaiba" The said persons' head shot to this door. In the frame stood Katsuya, his hair was mussed and his eyes gleaming with none of the old fire.

"Katsuya, what are you doing out of bed?" By this time, Katsuya and Seto had agreed that Jounouchi was to be called Katsuya as the said boy still didn't remember his name.

"I can't just sit around all day…" Katsuya paused but seto could tell that he wanted to say something else.

"What's the matter, Katsuya?" Seto beckoned Katsuya to sit next to him in the chair beside his. Katsuya's eyes lit up a little as he padded over to the chair and sat himself down. As soon as he was next to Seto a troubled expression appeared on his beautiful face. And Katsuya looked down so his bangs were obscuring his eyes.

Seto sighed as he watched the boy, it was so painful to see him like this, so helpless and drained of his life. Seto wanted the old Katsuya back, the one who was radiant and shined with brilliance, now this katsuya was still beautiful and angelic, but not as full of life. This Katsuya shuffled around and spoke slowly and monotonously.

"What is it, Katsuya?" Katsuya jumped when Seto had started speaking again. He went slightly rigid. Katsuya moved his mouth but no words were put forth. He licked his lips and tried again.

"i… I think there's something… wrong with me." Seto's eyes went wide for a second before watering and tears fell from them.

Katsuya looked up due to the silence that greeted his words, Seto sat opposite him crying, large heavy tears rolling down his cheeks and dropping off his chin.

"Set-" before Katsuya could even say anything seto was holding him in a firm hug.

"It's okay, Katsuya." Seto hugged the other boy harder "it's okay to be 'not okay'"

* * *

I hope to update soon!


	4. to love you like this

**It's okay…**

**Chapter 4: … to love you like this.**

**Warnings: yaoi**

**Pairings: Jou x Seto**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh **

**A/n: sorry it took so long to update, enjoy the story!**

* * *

Normal pov

Seto had tried many things, pictures, stories and even reenacting some of the things that Kaysuya and he had done together.

Nothing.

Days went by, nothing.

Seto didn't know what to do anymore, he had tried everything he could think of to bring back Katsuya's memories, short of electrocuting the boy. He sighed sadly and looked over at the clock beside his bed. 1:12 am. He closed his eyes.

* * *

Katsuya's pov

He… has tried everything for me, to try and make me remember things that I think I should find important. But, it really doesn't bother me, not remembering.

It sounds fun, to start over, to begin a new chapter in my life, while I find everything new and exciting, much like a child I guess. Seto doesn't understand.

I don't want to tell him these thoughts after he had tried so hard for me. Maybe I'm afraid? Somewhere inside me, I think I got amnesia because I had something that I had to forget otherwise it would kill me.

Seto doesn't understand.

* * *

**Normal pov.**

Katsuya stood outside Seto's office door. He would tell Seto his thoughts on the matter. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door twice. He waited.

"Is that you, Katsuya?" Katsuya jumped a little at the harsh tone in Seto's voice and answered shakily.

"Y-yes…" He waited for any orders from Seto. He had learned to know his place in this house, and Seto practically 'owned' everyone in the house.

"Come in then." Katsuya pushed the door inward and took a step inside closing the door behind him. He looked at Seto who was staring back at him with a cool gaze. Katsuya gulped, he couldn't do this.

"What ever is the matter Katsu?" That had become Katsuya's nick name over the time he had come to stay with Seto and he smiled a little as Seto's eyes softened.

"I wanted to talk to you about… my memories…" Katsu shuffled from foot to foot under Seto's pondering eyes, that pondering quickly turned to joy and Seto outwardly smiled.

"Katsu do you remember something?" Seto's voice was full of hope as he said this, Katsu's heart hurt.

Seto practically leaped at Katsu and held him in a tight hug. Tears welled in Katsu's eyes, how could he tell Seto the truth? Katsu was in love with Seto. From what Seto had explained they were in love before Katsu lost his memory, but he couldn't remember. Despite all that, Katsu fell in love with Seto all over again.

"I didn't remember anything Seto." Katsu let out in a whisper. Seto stopped his ranting and released Katsu, stepping back a little.

"Then what?" Seto's voice took on an icy tone, daring Katsu to say anything else. Katsu had to be brave, for his sake and Seto's.

"Seto Kaiba. I don't remember loving you. But, I love you now. I don't think I need my memories back." Katsu looked right at Seto to judge his reaction. Seto stared dumbfounded

"You- don't want your memories?" Seto's heart ached; Katsu… didn't want to remember him.

"That's not it, Seto. The thing is, I'm in love with you now, and bringing back my memories isn't going to change that. Even without my memories, I love you." Katsu tried to explain while watching Seto.

Seto smiled, Katsu loved him again, he didn't have to remember, he loved Seto all the same.

"I think it's okay, Seto."

Seto took Katsu back in to his arms and waited for the rest of Katsu's little speech. It didn't take the other boy long to finish what he was saying.

"It's okay to love you like this"

* * *

The end.

Thank you for reading and for all your kind reviews!


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